i

really miss talking to you. imiss how much you made me smile. imiss how much you made me laugh. imiss getting on facebook and you IMing me instantly typing my name in all caps. imiss your advice. imiss the way you used to calm me down when iwas breaking down. imiss you telling me everything about your day. imiss how you used to lick my face through the computer. imiss virtually giving you a redbull. imiss you.

ive been breaking down and your no longer there to talk to. ialmost slipped the other day. and smoked a whole pack. idont blame it on you.. so dont worryyy. ireally wish the stupid fucking ocean wasnt in my way or iwould fly over to you on my private jet plane. ihope everything is alright with you.

theres this absence there that never used to be there. ijust want it to go away!

we

listen to the same moosssiiccc. we dress alike. we taught each other what the true meaning of love is. we have awkward conversations, we have happy conversations, we have the type of conversation where ijust get butterflies in my stomach. we were so attached, we were connected at the hip. we are unconditionally​ and uncontrollably in love with each other.

but as time goes on we learn we will never be together. we both are going our seperate ways. my single lead life and your new girlfriend every two weeks life.


iwill always love you and care for you. but its time for me to move on and realize iwill never be with you. ineed some time to think. ineed some time to let go. ineed time to calculate all of this in my head. just give me that time. ipromise you wont regret it.

ilove you, and good night!

To Write Love On Her Arms: My Story!

ifound out about To Write Love On Her Arms through a couple of friends about a year ago. At the time iwas struggling with the loss of many of my friends. most of them lost their life to addiction and suicide. iwas so filled with emotion icould just crack. it hurt so badly inside to know that the people iloved ever so much were gone, to know iwould never see them again. ididnt know how to deal with the pain so istarted popping my mums pain killers and sleeping for hours, sometimes for days. istarted smoking pot after someone told me it was a get away without actually leaving. isoon had started thinking about suicide. it just seemed like the drugs werent helping and iwas afraid of death even though ididnt want to live anymore. thats when ibrought back an old habit and started to self inflict injury's upon myself again. within two weeks my arms and legs were covered in cuts and scars. for about two months the same routine would happen. iwould wake up in the morning crying, slice my wrist. go to school wearing long sleeves and jackets to cover my wounds. iwould then come home from school still upset over something...everything, then slicing my arm/leg again just watching as the blood would poor. watching my pain leave from my body. ijust felt so alone feeling as if there was no one to talk to. ijust felt like dying.

about six months in of suffering from depression, cutting myself, going in and out of therapy not being able to find the right counselor is when iheard my friends talking about TWLOHA. after hearing about it iwent and looked it up on the social networking site everyone knows: myspace. iread the story which sounded similar in a way to my own. then seeing it spread through music, bands that ihad listened to. irealized then that iwasnt the only one that was going through this. iwasnt the only one suffering with self injury and depression. ifinally was able to open up and start a conversation telling my feelings to someone else. at that point in time ino longer felt alone.

TWLOHA gave me that sign of hope. it showed me i'm not alone in this. that there is a way out. there is a way of coming clean. ifeel that without TWLOHA iprobably would have already committed suicide or OD'd on drugs. istill suffer a little bit with depression but iam no longer cutting myself and ino longer have thoughts of suicide!

TWLOHA helped me, it can help you to.

become apart of the movement. start a conversation! (:

LOVE is the MOVEMENT!

GUESSSS WHOS BACK!

im finally backkkkkk! my life is finally back together. everything is going great! iwill be updating daily (hopefully). iam really looking forward to writing again! this should be interesting!