i cant let go.

ohk so he is just drifting further away.
i can never have him but i want him.
its like obsessive it kills.

he is like gorgeous and i dont know
he makes me feel good when we talk
even if its just a word or two.

i have like knots in my stomach.

goshh i hope he will once be single again.

: D


it would make me feel good.
ahahahhaha


jaimieJUSTIFIED

how's it been? fine thank you.

Dear Viewers,

i know its been a while since i last blogged but
you know what its because i havent had the need to
just let all my thoughts come down hard on these keys
of which i type a pone.

well thats right i havent been that depressed to sit
here and well type my little heart out.

well anyways things have been good and school has been great.
its weird how being in IB can make you feel so much
more smarter then what you really appear to be.

i have been smiling for like two days straight and well that
hasent really happened in a while.
so i am glad that what i predicted about a new school
is really coming true.
: D

i mean i think i actually am getting close to this one special
person that i can well like call my own.
i hope it works out is all i am thinking.

well other than that this
is pretty much all i have to type.

type soon.
jaimieJUSTIFIED

life can be a bitch

speaking not about me......


ohk so why is it that parents can be so pathetic
when it comes to people they hate trying to be nice
to the child.
they always assume thats how they are getting
to the parent is through the child but you know what
i dont think thats true.
i think that the friend is just trying to be nice to
the child seeing as how they have known her since
she was like three.
he is just being nice wanting to get the child concert
tickets to well see her favorite band perform live.
yeah so the child may of already seen them in concert before
but she really likes them to where she wants to see them again.


gosh why does this have to be so difficult.
it just makes the child even more depressed
then what she already is.

so maybe the parent may say yes.
who cares the child is going whether the parent
says yes or not thats all i have to say.


jaimieJUSTIFIED

updating you!

ohk so this week has been very hectic
and that would be why i havent blogged in
like a day or so.

so let me just update you on whats going on.

alright so i started high school on monday
and it was great. pretty much like school should be
just like a different place.

i hung out with most of the seniors through out the day
and well that was great im glad i know them.
ahahahhahah: D

and well the last two days i havent been in school
due to stupid tropical storm fay.
yeah thats right a freaking tropical storm not
even like a hurricane.
just a big thunderstorm.

and so school was only suppose to be canceled for
tuesday and wednesday so to me that was ohk
but then the stupid thing decided it wanted to
turn around instead of leaving.
so now school is canceled for thursday to.

wow a whole week a school with only two days is pretty lame
well thats what i think anyways.

yeah there may be flooding in the main parts of florida that
got hit but not by me there isnt. its just very winding and stuff
thats why they canceled schools because the dang buses
cant drive in this type of weather.

man i am like so bored and irritated with dang mother nature.

just be like everyone else and blame it on global warming
because well thats what it is pretty much.

sooner or later real life is going to be like that movie day after tomorrow.


anyways thats my update just sitting on my ass
not doing anything.

: (


love jaimieJUSTIFIED

the first day.

well today was funn.
i was soo lost but it was funny.

and like i just pretty much hung out
with all the seniors in between classes.

it was pretty cool.

and eventually i found my way
just walked in circles a million times
but it was really funny.

well going to do homework even
though i wont even be back at school for
like two days because of fay.

but then it will be like the first day all over again.



i think in a weird way it was funny.
i had funn thats all i really care about.

next blog should be interesting.
<333jaimiemarie

a new start.

ohk so i may have been sad these
last couple of days, but well i am going to
start off fresh tomorrow.

yepp thats right, a new school
a new graduating class.
oh yeah and we cant forget that new
image of mine.

i will make new friends and start new relationships
with people and maybe it will come to the point
where i am no longer sad because these
new people will make the happiest person alive.

just like the good old days.
where i didnt have to worry about stupid
people and the stupid drama that followed behind it.

maybe i will finally start dreaming again
and then i will be definitely the happiest person alive.

well i hope it all works out.
and i will make sure to update you first thing
after school tomorrow.


thanks for reading.

-jaimieJUSTIFIED

have it stuck.

ohk so there is like this song right.

its called boston and its by augustana.
and well it is totally stuck in my head.

well anyways i feel a little bit better as
of this moment in time.

i took a nap because i was tired.
then i like woke up and watched E news! true hollywood story.

and now i am writing to all of my viewers.

i had this weird dream the other night,
and it was weird because i dont dream often.
well it was about Anna im guessing.
i like went to this ladies house who was real live friends
with her and like there were family portraits all over her
home and Anna was pretty much in all of them.
and like i burst out into tears in my dream because they
were like little memories of things that happened in her life.
well anyways when i woke up my pillow was like soaked because
i like really cried in my sleep, i was like wow i didnt know i could do that.


ahahhaha: )

well thats it for right now.
love,
jaimieJUSTIFIED

i dont know.

i feel very sick inside i dont know why.
i havent really been doing much.

but sleeping that is.
i have been very tired again lately.

its not the fact on being anemic.
i take my iron pills every time my
iron level is low.

i thinks its depression but i dont know.
its happened before.
and im showing all the same signs.
but i dont know.

i hate it i tell you i just want to be happy again.
but i dont know when.

my body says one thing and i say another.
i dont know whats causing it.
maybe its my friends or maybe its my
moms new boyfriend, but i dont know.

so as you can see very clear i dont know
what is going on.

>: I


jaimieJUSTIFIED

the first of many.

so this is my second official blog.
and all i am saying is well this is the
first of many.

I think i blog to make the stress go away.
it helps me relieve myself of everything.
when i blog i feel refreshed at the end of everyone.

its like typing makes the pain go away or something.
thats what i think it is.

well to begin with,
today was a little sad and depressing and the
wheather forcast didnt seem to help much either.

yeah well it was raining here all day which makes the
day crappier than usual.
thats what i think anyways.

i have been just finishing up some
summer reading and listening to augustana all day.
yeah well they are one of my favorite bands.
just if you were wondering or not.

i dont know i just thought i would tell you that.
and something else that happened today would
be my mother not getting it through her head that
well im a vegan. so she like went and made these
really good noodles and corn combo but then
she like went ahead and put meat in it.
and instead of just putting it in her bowl she mixed it
in with like the whole thing. and well once the meat
has touched it i wont eat it, to me it is like contaminated.

so instead i had spaghetti and butter, it was like really good.

but other than that crazy incident i have pretty much just been
moping around all day sleeping instead of crying.
i think to me sleep is way better then crying.

jaimieJUSTIFIED

been cryin'

I am an emotional wreck today.

I miss that special girl that kept me smiling.

She has been truely missed for two years now,
and her name would be Anna Svidersky.

I called my best friend up today and was balling
out in tears on the phone and i like couldnt stop.

just out of no where i remember the conversations me
and Anna used to have that would make me laugh.
and no i may not have known her in person
but that doesnt matter all i know is that i could talk to her.

and i think just about everyone was devastated when
she was killed, by well this random person that
went on a killing spree because he was psychotic.

he should be the one dead not poor nascent Anna.
it just isnt fair and i wish she could be here today.
but i think that heaven definitely gained an angel on April 20th, 2006.
even though she was to be legal six days later.


may angels lead her in.
loved and missed.
"Anna Esther Svidersky"

: (



www.myspace.com/sceneslut

jaimieJUSTIFIED