understanding // past relations

alright so I was just looking back at previous blogs I have posted and came accross the one i posted "i love him so" well just letting you all know I am no longer with him. Yuhh it was great while it lasted but whatever. Yuhh I do still love him almost like its unconditional or something. I don't know if he knows that but all I know is that well I know and it doesn't bother me if he doesn't think so and just thinks that I'm a lier, I flirt with other guys and don't tell him, I don't keep my promises. Whatever thats all bull. That's what he thinks and what he thinks is not true. I don't say I love someone then go behind there back its not cool. Truely, I know how it feels to seeing as how it happened to me once before. To me it was four months of wasted time and thats all it will ever be. I'm free now. I can move on to bigger and better things. Not having to worry about what the hell hes doing and if hes cheating on me. I honestly don't know why I thought that either. but its cool.........

just thought i would update you on the matter.
and let you know its over.


so yepp.
add thiss
www.myspace.com/jaimiesonmyspace

-jaimieJUSTIFIED

happy 2009

Omgoshhh I can't freaking believe it, the fact that well this is the last day of 2008. idkk why it matters so much but in a way it does. Oh and it really freaking irritates me the fact that bright house wants to cutt MTV out of its line of channels. Now how in the fuck can you do that I mean come on now its freaking MTV for cryin out loud. Like the best channel ever. But I'm trying to get them to keep it on my plan so yuhh I hope that works out. ahahhah I had an veggie egg role earlier and it was really good. and yuhh the vegan thing is really working out to my standards. It was hard at first but after a while I really do like this change in my life style. Cause you don't live forever and change is always good. I think you accomplish nothing in life if you don't make a change now and again. Now being completely random to the max I cleaned my room yesterday. Pretty much threw everything away. Like I said its time for change. Honesty im redoing the whole thing. I'm not sure what I'm changing it to but what I do know is that there is like nothing in it anymore. I never really liked when it was cramed with stuff and furniture so yesterday I emptied it and threw away like 5 trash bags worth of junk. lawlz. well any who back to some other random topic like the fact that tonight I'm going to this hella crazy party probably with my bro. idk though I know that I have to make and apperience at lydnseys party though and count down the ball drop and everything with her cause its her bday. Then I'm spending the night at Sarah's which is cool cause I have never spent the night and what not. Seeing as how Sarah equals a hella awesome time pretty much means I hope shes not tired. cause we gonna party till the sun comes up. well anyway the whole point of this blog would have to be happy 2009. ahhahah i love the new pepsi commercial about that too( : well yeah for me I hope its a great year.

well yeah thats pretty much it. So ima go now. lata


p.s. HAPPY 2009


-jaimieJUSTIFIED

random // finally // im back

Wow I haven't posted a blog in like a million years. It really in a way made me laugh hysterically when I read all my old posts. Ohkay so basically my life is repairing itself. Obviously if I haven't had to vent. Well anyway i started using A I M again its been forever in a day since that was used almost like its collecting dust while sitting in my computer. Ahh speaking of my computer I got jack of nothing pretty much for Christmas so I went out and bought a FREAKING A LAPTOP yo. I'm so excited it should be here like Monday or Tuesday of next week and if I'm lucky Saturday babez. ahahhaha I'm listening to love in this club by Usher and I have no clue why seeing as how its not my type of music. And did you know that like this was an awesome month cause Kanye West's 808's and heartbreak album and the Killers day&age album came out. And I noticed that I have started listening to the all american rejects more like back in the day when they were my fav band. I would have to say that with school and stuff I seriously understand why I haven'y blogged in a while. Seeing as how blogging is something that totally entertains me( : Well for now thats it. I'M OUT!!!!!


jaimieJUSTIFIED

i love him sooo

ohk so it was just a temporary liking.
and now i am happier than ever i have
stopped thinking of him and have moved on
to the rest of my life.

i have met the perfect guy to be there to love
me hold me and whisper good night in my ear.
he makes me feel so confident he pretty much adores me.

i love him so much it hurts.
i think about him all day and night
even though he may not know it.
he is my true love and i am sure he will always be.

he makes me smile and giggle.
i think its funny how i called him right when he
pressed the send button to call me.
yepp we call each other at the same minute
of day. yeah he may live on the west coast and i
may live on the east but i know he is still there
to love and hold and kiss me.
i wish i could be with him every second of every day.
him always holding me tight and never letting go:)

i love him so much that its hard to describe the
feeling that i feel.

he is forever mine.
i love you devinn.


jaimieJUSTIFIED

i cant let go.

ohk so he is just drifting further away.
i can never have him but i want him.
its like obsessive it kills.

he is like gorgeous and i dont know
he makes me feel good when we talk
even if its just a word or two.

i have like knots in my stomach.

goshh i hope he will once be single again.

: D


it would make me feel good.
ahahahhaha


jaimieJUSTIFIED

how's it been? fine thank you.

Dear Viewers,

i know its been a while since i last blogged but
you know what its because i havent had the need to
just let all my thoughts come down hard on these keys
of which i type a pone.

well thats right i havent been that depressed to sit
here and well type my little heart out.

well anyways things have been good and school has been great.
its weird how being in IB can make you feel so much
more smarter then what you really appear to be.

i have been smiling for like two days straight and well that
hasent really happened in a while.
so i am glad that what i predicted about a new school
is really coming true.
: D

i mean i think i actually am getting close to this one special
person that i can well like call my own.
i hope it works out is all i am thinking.

well other than that this
is pretty much all i have to type.

type soon.
jaimieJUSTIFIED

life can be a bitch

speaking not about me......


ohk so why is it that parents can be so pathetic
when it comes to people they hate trying to be nice
to the child.
they always assume thats how they are getting
to the parent is through the child but you know what
i dont think thats true.
i think that the friend is just trying to be nice to
the child seeing as how they have known her since
she was like three.
he is just being nice wanting to get the child concert
tickets to well see her favorite band perform live.
yeah so the child may of already seen them in concert before
but she really likes them to where she wants to see them again.


gosh why does this have to be so difficult.
it just makes the child even more depressed
then what she already is.

so maybe the parent may say yes.
who cares the child is going whether the parent
says yes or not thats all i have to say.


jaimieJUSTIFIED

updating you!

ohk so this week has been very hectic
and that would be why i havent blogged in
like a day or so.

so let me just update you on whats going on.

alright so i started high school on monday
and it was great. pretty much like school should be
just like a different place.

i hung out with most of the seniors through out the day
and well that was great im glad i know them.
ahahahhahah: D

and well the last two days i havent been in school
due to stupid tropical storm fay.
yeah thats right a freaking tropical storm not
even like a hurricane.
just a big thunderstorm.

and so school was only suppose to be canceled for
tuesday and wednesday so to me that was ohk
but then the stupid thing decided it wanted to
turn around instead of leaving.
so now school is canceled for thursday to.

wow a whole week a school with only two days is pretty lame
well thats what i think anyways.

yeah there may be flooding in the main parts of florida that
got hit but not by me there isnt. its just very winding and stuff
thats why they canceled schools because the dang buses
cant drive in this type of weather.

man i am like so bored and irritated with dang mother nature.

just be like everyone else and blame it on global warming
because well thats what it is pretty much.

sooner or later real life is going to be like that movie day after tomorrow.


anyways thats my update just sitting on my ass
not doing anything.

: (


love jaimieJUSTIFIED

the first day.

well today was funn.
i was soo lost but it was funny.

and like i just pretty much hung out
with all the seniors in between classes.

it was pretty cool.

and eventually i found my way
just walked in circles a million times
but it was really funny.

well going to do homework even
though i wont even be back at school for
like two days because of fay.

but then it will be like the first day all over again.



i think in a weird way it was funny.
i had funn thats all i really care about.

next blog should be interesting.
<333jaimiemarie

a new start.

ohk so i may have been sad these
last couple of days, but well i am going to
start off fresh tomorrow.

yepp thats right, a new school
a new graduating class.
oh yeah and we cant forget that new
image of mine.

i will make new friends and start new relationships
with people and maybe it will come to the point
where i am no longer sad because these
new people will make the happiest person alive.

just like the good old days.
where i didnt have to worry about stupid
people and the stupid drama that followed behind it.

maybe i will finally start dreaming again
and then i will be definitely the happiest person alive.

well i hope it all works out.
and i will make sure to update you first thing
after school tomorrow.


thanks for reading.

-jaimieJUSTIFIED

have it stuck.

ohk so there is like this song right.

its called boston and its by augustana.
and well it is totally stuck in my head.

well anyways i feel a little bit better as
of this moment in time.

i took a nap because i was tired.
then i like woke up and watched E news! true hollywood story.

and now i am writing to all of my viewers.

i had this weird dream the other night,
and it was weird because i dont dream often.
well it was about Anna im guessing.
i like went to this ladies house who was real live friends
with her and like there were family portraits all over her
home and Anna was pretty much in all of them.
and like i burst out into tears in my dream because they
were like little memories of things that happened in her life.
well anyways when i woke up my pillow was like soaked because
i like really cried in my sleep, i was like wow i didnt know i could do that.


ahahhaha: )

well thats it for right now.
love,
jaimieJUSTIFIED

i dont know.

i feel very sick inside i dont know why.
i havent really been doing much.

but sleeping that is.
i have been very tired again lately.

its not the fact on being anemic.
i take my iron pills every time my
iron level is low.

i thinks its depression but i dont know.
its happened before.
and im showing all the same signs.
but i dont know.

i hate it i tell you i just want to be happy again.
but i dont know when.

my body says one thing and i say another.
i dont know whats causing it.
maybe its my friends or maybe its my
moms new boyfriend, but i dont know.

so as you can see very clear i dont know
what is going on.

>: I


jaimieJUSTIFIED

the first of many.

so this is my second official blog.
and all i am saying is well this is the
first of many.

I think i blog to make the stress go away.
it helps me relieve myself of everything.
when i blog i feel refreshed at the end of everyone.

its like typing makes the pain go away or something.
thats what i think it is.

well to begin with,
today was a little sad and depressing and the
wheather forcast didnt seem to help much either.

yeah well it was raining here all day which makes the
day crappier than usual.
thats what i think anyways.

i have been just finishing up some
summer reading and listening to augustana all day.
yeah well they are one of my favorite bands.
just if you were wondering or not.

i dont know i just thought i would tell you that.
and something else that happened today would
be my mother not getting it through her head that
well im a vegan. so she like went and made these
really good noodles and corn combo but then
she like went ahead and put meat in it.
and instead of just putting it in her bowl she mixed it
in with like the whole thing. and well once the meat
has touched it i wont eat it, to me it is like contaminated.

so instead i had spaghetti and butter, it was like really good.

but other than that crazy incident i have pretty much just been
moping around all day sleeping instead of crying.
i think to me sleep is way better then crying.

jaimieJUSTIFIED

been cryin'

I am an emotional wreck today.

I miss that special girl that kept me smiling.

She has been truely missed for two years now,
and her name would be Anna Svidersky.

I called my best friend up today and was balling
out in tears on the phone and i like couldnt stop.

just out of no where i remember the conversations me
and Anna used to have that would make me laugh.
and no i may not have known her in person
but that doesnt matter all i know is that i could talk to her.

and i think just about everyone was devastated when
she was killed, by well this random person that
went on a killing spree because he was psychotic.

he should be the one dead not poor nascent Anna.
it just isnt fair and i wish she could be here today.
but i think that heaven definitely gained an angel on April 20th, 2006.
even though she was to be legal six days later.


may angels lead her in.
loved and missed.
"Anna Esther Svidersky"

: (



www.myspace.com/sceneslut

jaimieJUSTIFIED